Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I choose to fight

Life's too short
And there's no time to waste on giving up
So I choose to fight

And sometimes
I need you to give me the courage and strength to go on


Ok, I dun know wat nonsense i'm writing..
I'm jus so bloody stress with all the work load..
Urgh!!

O Allah, on this day, awaken me with the blessings of its early mornings, Illuminate my heart with the brightness of its rays, let every part of my body follow its effects, by Your light, O the illuminator of the hearts of those who know.

O Allah, on this day, guide me towards righteous actions, fulfil my needs and hopes, O One who does not need explanations nor questions, O One who knows what is in the chests of the (people of the) world. Bless Muhammad and his family, the Pure.

Spent almost the whole day in school yesterday despite recess week..
It's more of like a catching-up wwek rather than recess week..
Done with my second GIS lab work yesterday..
3 more lab assignments to go..
Already going crazy after doing the first 2..
This is wat i did..
Yes, it look easy to do..
Similar to those we see in textbooks..
But try doing it first then judge the difficulty..
Have to include the different data sets and map elements..
Troublesome..
Now left with the report and completing the questions and i'm done with it..

Meeting Fiza and Diyana tomorrow to gather materials for our project..

Hope it'll be fun..

Recess week is almost over, but i still have a lot of work to do..
1 more lab report to be done, a physics essay, and a geog essay, both 5-7 pages long, all need to be submitted next week..
And on top of that, have to study for 2 test coming up next week..

Gonna have 2 project meetings in school later during the day..
And i haven't even had a wink of sleep..
Wanted to stop everything tat i was doing jus now, surrender for the night, and continue the next day..
but looking at the number of days i have left before school starts, i changed my mind..
went to make a cup of coffee instead..

Saw Anwar's exam timetable which he put up on our mini-notice board, and saw these words..
which kind of motivates me..

"Success comes from both intelligence and persistent diligence"

But still, to conclude all these..
I am currently super duper stressed out..
So if u wanna mess with me, jus be prepared for the consequences..

O Allah, on this day, grant me compatability with the good, keep me away from patching up with the evil, lead me in it, by Your mercy, to the permanent abode, by Your Godship, O the God of the worlds.

Why?
Why do people feel the pain of losing someone only when they’ve lost that someone..
Or on the verge of losing tat someone..
But when that someone’s back..
They take things for granted..

One part of me just wants to tell you everything
One part just needs the quiet











It takes time for a broken heart to mend

I don't know why
So don’t ask me why
You know that I'm just the kind of girl that feels so hurt and smiles

You don't even know a thing I feel inside
By the look in my eye
That I'm just fine
But the actual fact is that
I might need you
To hold me tight

O Allah, on this day, grant me the obedience of the humble expand my chest through the repentance of the humble, by Your security, O the shelter of the fearful.

O Allah, on this day, do not condemn me for slips, make me decrease mistakes and errors, do not make me a target for afflictions and troubles, by Your honor, O the honor of the Muslims.

I've tis hidden craze with One Tree Hill..
and i'm so in love with that song..
"What hurts the most" by Rascal Flatts..
It makes me feel better..
but at the same time it made me cry..
haiz..
strange, but true..

O Allah, on this day, purify me from uncleanliness and dirt, make me patient over events that are decreed, grant me the ability to be pious, and keep company with the good, by Your help, O the beloved of the destitute.

I'm so tired and sleepy..
Din sleep at all last nite..
Was busy being with a fren who's having a prob with his guy..
it goes like tis..

She wanted to check a fren from school..
on frenster, with email address ***_*******@ hotmail.com, but instead, she wrongly typed the first 3 letters, and also instead of hotmail, she typed yahoo.com.sg..
Tat's a lot of mistakes..
but probably, tat's wat god wanna show in this holy month of ramadhan..
So she browsed through the profile and right at the end, she saw tis girl's edited pic with like a quarter of her boyfriend's face beside her..

from tat moment onwards, her mind went blank..she din know wat to do..
I told her to sleep, get some rest and deal with it tomorrow morning..
she tried, but she can't..
so i told her maybe she could study..
she took out her readings, but jus stare at it..
for the first time, she din know how to start..
and so i told her, maybe she could read a story book..
she took it out, but kept repeating the same sentence over and over again..
coz she forget wat she read..
I had no more ideas to suggest..
so i jus kept quiet and accompanied her..
when asked wat's she doing, she said she's jus sitting on her chair, staring blankly into the space..
i dunno wat to say, so jus kept quiet with her..
at times, she will break down..without being able to control it, tears flowed down her cheeks..
Tat's the most difficult part, coz i really dun know wat to do..

so i told her, if he loves u, he won't do anything to hurt her..
probably tat's a mistake on his side, taking pics so close with another person to tat extent..
but if he really loves her, he will admit tat and try to get her back, no matter wat it takes..
he'll do anything to make sure tat he'll live the rest of his life with her..

so she msged the guy..
first reply was, he's sleeping and told her to jus msg him..
wat does tat mean?
why must she jus msg him, why can't she jus call him and settle it directly..
probably he's outside, so he does not want her to hear the noisy background..
then after telling him wat she saw, she told him to leave her alone..
probably tat's a mistake on her side..
asking to be left alone..
but she was angry...nobody can blame her..
everyone asked to be left alone when they're mad..
but in actual fact, tat's the time when they really need someone to be there with them the most..
to assure them tat everything's gonna be fine..
even though when approached, they'll back off..
and they started replying to each other..
one of his msg was like, if u want to belah, jus do so..
ok, wat kind of word is tat? "belah"?
u dun say tat to ur girlfriend..
she din say she want to break up with him..
but tat was his response..
so maybe, he really has already start planning to leave her..

then he said his life's a mess now, alone and wanted to commit suicide to end it all..
and tat makes me tink..
I told her, she wouldn't want to live her life with someone like tat..
Thinking of commiting suicide at the slightest problem..
end it there,and let others settle his problem..
only cowards do tat..
i told her again, if he really love her deeply, he'll fight to stay with her..
he'll do anything to be with her..
by giving up, it jus shows tat he dun love her deep enough, or maybe he is guilty, and not brave enough to face the truth..
I told her, if they are meant to be toghether, no matter wat happens, they will end up together eventually..

I hope she's doing fine now..
as for me, i've cancelled my 2 tuitions today..
changed it to another day..
I dun tink it's fair for them even if i go..
coz i'm very very sleepy, and i dun wanna fall asleep in front of them while waiting for them to finish their work..
but at the same time, i can't get any sleep..
I'm going out with her, to somewhere quiet..
so jus sit with her and stare into the space together..
i know tat's wat she's gonna do..

Am i stupid?

Or..
am i stupid?



I just feel like running away from all these..
and see what happens next..
maybe tat's an option..
.............

O Allah, on this day, beautify me with covering and chastity, cover me with the clothes of contentment and chastity, let me adhere to justice and fairness, and keep me safe from all that I fear, by Your protection, O the protector of the frightened.

O Allah, on this day, make me love goodness, and dislike corruption and disobedience, bar me from anger and the fire [of Hell], by Your help, O the helper of those who seek help.

O Allah, on this day, make me, among those who rely on You, from those who You consider successful, and place me among those who are near to you, by Your favour, O goal of the seekers.

I can barely open my eyes at tis moment..
Even after a cup of coffee..
Been sleeping quite late the past few nites and getting up early for school..
In need of rest badly..
Recess week coming up next week..
But i doubt it'll be a week of so-called break from school..
Already had 3 project meetings..
And a couple of assignments to do, which need to be completed in the school's lab..
Since we need to use the "thousand-dollar" GIS software..

And the thing tat's stressing me the most is the Physics test after the recess week..
The module's so damn difficult, and i kind of regretted taking it..
But i'm still gonna give my very very best..
Even though now it's already making me super crazy...



And we're already into the second week of fasting..
Time flies by very fast when u're busy..
And the doa for the ninth day of Ramadhan..

O Allah, on this day, grant me a share from Your mercy which is wide, guide me towards Your shining proofs, lead me to Your all encompassing pleasure, by Your love, O the hope of the desirous.

O Allah, on this day, let me have mercy on the orphans, and feed [the hungry], and spread peace, and keep company with the noble­minded, O the shelter of the hopeful.

O Allah, on this day, help me with its fasts and prayers, and keep me away from mistakes and sins of the day, grant me that I remember You continously through the day, by Your assistance, O the Guide of those who stray.

O Allah, on this day, do not let me abase myself by incurring Your disobedience, and do not strike me with the whip of Your punishment, keep me away from the causes of Your anger, by Your kindness and Your power, O the ultimate wish of those who desire.

O Allah, on this day, place me among those who seek forgiveness. Place me among Your righteous and obedient servants, and place me among Your close friends, by Your kindness, O the most Merciful.

Doa for the 5th day of Ramadhan..
Was super busy yesterday preparing for classes..
feeling very tired now..
.....

O Allah, on this day, strengthen me in carrying out Your commands, let me taste the sweetness of Your rememberance, grant me, through Your graciousness, that I give thanks to You. Protect me, with Your protection and cover, O the most discerning of those who see.

Yesterday was my brother's 20th birthday..jus a simple celebration, with a small cake which i bought at the shop below jus before he reach home..wanted to buy the one from Royal Cakes, but din have time to go there..hehe..
His best fren, Rais and my cuz Naz came over and break fast with us..




I haven't even bought him any birthday present yesterday..
Just now, went to Vivo with Anwar and Dearie to hunt for his prezzies..
I bought him an Everlast watch while Dearie bought an Adidas bag for him..
Hope he like both of it..
And as usual, we took pics..






Was quite busy yesterday..din had time to post the doa for the third day of Ramadhan..

O Allah, on this day, grant me wisdom and awareness, keep me away from foolishness and pretention, grant me a share in every blessing You send down, by You generosity, O the most Generous.

O Allah, on this day, take me closer towards Your pleasure, keep me away from Your anger and punishment, grant me the opportunity to recite Your verses (of the Qur'an), by Your mercy, O the most Merciful.

Watched Citarasa Selebriti on TV1 jus now with nenek, and both us were in tears when the host chatted with the guest artist..she was in tears too..if i was her, i'll be in tears too..
Ya Allah, give her happiness tat she deserve..give her strength to continue with her life journey..somehow, i felt sad..usually, when it comes to artists, i dun really bother so much..coz it's like so common for them..but jus now, i dunno why..jauhilah such things from happening to me and my loved ones..

Amin..

It's the first day of fasting, and i'm already not feeling well..

Skipped lectures today and cancelled my tuition...

Maybe i should get some vitamins, like Diana said..

Resting at home now..

Hopefully i'll get better tomorrow..

O Allah, on this day make my fasts the fasts of those who fast (sincerely), and my standing up in prayer of those who stand up in prayer (obediently), awaken me in it from the sleep of the heedless, and forgive me my sins , O God of the worlds, and forgive me, O one who forgives the sinners.

Amin.

I crashed a software in one of the computers in GIS Lab jus now..

I followed the instructions given in the tutorial closely, but when i din get the results i'm supposed to get, i called the lecturer over..

Lucky he said not to worry, coz they get those kind of cases quite often..

haha..

Aniway, yesterday, my Dearie had some problems with his family..

I hope it's solved..

And hope he's feeling better..

I tried my best to cheer him up..

It's not one of those things tat i'm good at..

Even with him, i'm kind of quite shy..

I dunno, shy to express my feelings..

shy to let them know tat i care about them..

shy to let them know tat i love them..

I want them to be happy all the time..

I'm working on it..

Last weekend, ate tulang with Dearie..

as always, at my favourite mama stall..

Kassim!!

Ramadhan's coming..

and mum asked me jus now whether i wanna go do the terawihs at the mosque this year..

usually we'll jus do it at home..

i told her we'll go if tat's wat she wants..

so which means i'll have to sacrifice my tv programs..

which i willingly will...

;>

The time has come, to think and reflect..

Give us guidance..

Give us strenghts..

To change our attitutes, towards life and faith..

It's only the 4th week of school, and readings are piling up like crazy..
And tutorials for this sem are super demanding..
And i always get picked out to give my views..
Somehow i'm the lecturer's and tutor's favourite pick..
Which also mean i have to read almost all the readings and familarise with the concepts before coming to class..
darn..

But despite all those hardcore modules, there's a module tat i enjoyed taking..
Sociology of Popular Culture..
And i was known as the "Chick flick movies girl"..
haha..
there's a group of girls actually, but it all started with me..
ain't it cool..
ahha..

Fiza was on crutches for a few days..
and me, being a caring and understanding fren, accompanies her almost everywhere..

As for myself, i dunno why, but my leg hurts..
to be more specific, from my thighs to my knee joints..
mum said probably i kicked something while walking..
since's it's the chinese's 7th month..
i don't tink i did..
but even if i do, is there's really something there tat's eating those things they offer..
i choose not to believe it..
7th month is not scary to me..
seeing people studying in the library, or even in the canteen..
well, actually all around school, engrossed in their readings..
tat's very scary for me..

;>