Oh Bloggie

Had a bad day yesterday..
Had a tiff with my brothers..
Yeah, both of them…

Ok, I admit tat the first one was my fault..wanted to use my brother’s file..the elder of the 2..so I went to his drawers to look for it…opened the second drawer and saw a book..like a notebook..the cover page was flipped open..caught my eyes..it was some notes on his school stuffs…so I read through them…continue flipping, then I saw a song…one of my favourites, so I sang the lyrics…then flipped again, and I saw it…wat he wrote..wanted to stop but the devil inside my head says jus continue reading..he’s not home..he’s never gonna find out…

But when he came back, conscience was bugging me…so I told him..then he shouted…he’s got every right to be angry at me…but even without reading it, I know already how he feel about tat issue he wrote…he went into the toilet and I went off for tuition..said I’m sorry when he’s kind of cool down, and he accepted it…

Went home from tuition…watch tv and stuff…at about 8 plus, then only realise tat I haven’t had my dinner…so went to the kitchen to have my meal…my youngest brother was chatting away on the phone at the kitchen.. And his exam’s tis week..so I tell him to stop chatting and go do some revision..he wouldn’t listen…so I told mum…when he went in, mum called him into the room…can’t hear wat’s happening from the kitchen..but I guess mum was scolding him…he came back out into the kitchen, grabbed the packet of soya bean milk from beside my plate and pour some of it into my plate which is still three quarter full of rice…I really felt like crying at tat moment..i tink I did…but managed to stop it before it get worst…

I was jus trying to help…I dunno..sometimes I feel like I’m not a good sister..a part of me said to myself tat from now on, I'm jus gonna stay quiet and dun bother bout anything if it doesn’t concern me…

I got over it…when Dearie called me tat nite…I try to seal my sadness…chat with him as usual…talked about lots of stuffs..he said his mum invited me to their family gathering tis Sunday..some kids’ birthday..but I’m not sure if I wanna go…we settled tat issue already…then I feel like talking or rather telling him wat happen earlier at home…I was cool at the start..but as I continue talking…tears never stop falling down my cheeks….i tink he can sense tat I was crying..I tried so hard to control and deny it…but I tink my voice was cracking when I respond me…

People always say it’s easier to run away from problems…pretend jus it didn’t happen…I guess i’m jus not strong enough to handle such things…my brothers are so dear to me…it breaks my heart to see us like tat..i love them both equally…

To me, girls who cry to sleep are lonely and leads a miserable life..
I’m happy with my life..i’ve a lovely family, a boyfriend who loves me and my frens…
And it’s hard for me to believe tat last nite,
I was one of those girls..