It didn’t turn out as planned..yet again..haiz…
I know I’ve cause enough trouble and heartache already…
And so I thought..why not say something nice tonight..
I know he had a tiring day today..with work and school after tat…and not even a wink of sleep the night before...
When school’s over he messaged me saying he’s done, on his way home and tat his batt is almost flat..so ok, I waited till he get home..messaged him at about 12 midnight asking if he’s home or not…replied soon after saying he’s home and wanna help his dad with something..my reply was ok..try to be fast…cause I need him..badly…
Here’s the initial plan..he’ll definitely think I’ve got something important to talk to him about..so he’ll do his work quickly..shower, solat and call me straight away…and when he call..he will certainly ask me why..and I’ve even prepared an answer for tat..i’ll say tat I missed him so much..tat’ll definitely bring a smile to his face.. coz I dun usually say those mushy2 things...the day will end with smiles all over..

BUT

Too bad, it didn’t go as planned...I had a long day too ok..and I wanted to sleep after Hikmah..never sleep back after Subuh jus now..did some housework, watch dvds, went to tuition, then to the gym in the evening..i am tired too ok..but I stayed awake jus for him..watched some stupid show on the tv jus so tat I’ll stay awake..when there’s no more shows, read my book and never stop glancing at the clock..last I saw it was at 1.40am..after tat I must have dozed off..tat’s how long I waited..and if I were important to him, he’ll definitely call as soon as he’s done with his work..but he dozed off..i know he’s tired..so am i..he called at about 1.50am..and pressed me to tell him wat it is tat was bugging me..why is it tat I need him badly..and his words, saying tat I’m hiding things from him..why must you always think tat way..i told u time and again, I never hide anything from you..have u ever wonder, tat those words tat u always say I did, tat I’m hiding something from u, is also an accusation...

So aniway,

TOO LATE..
Plan failed again…

Sometimes I wonder..why is it tat everytime, when things are starting to pick up again, there’ll always be something tat will put it back down..
But like I said on the phone jus now..i know u’re tired…I won’t be angry later in the morning...i’ll still call when I get up for Subuh later..maybe I am angry now..or rather, sad..coz if I were important enough to you, you would have call once u’re done..u won’t hang around and dozed off in between..u’ll go directly to the phone to dial my number...
Maybe I’ll tink of another plan, if I have the time, idea and mood...i should have slept after Hikmah..tat way, I won’t feel as bad as I’m feeling now..i won’t be hanging around the house doing nothing while everyone else is snoring away...

I’m going back to sleep..if I can..