The food was great..too bad there’s no power outlet, so no music..but it was kecoh, with my aunts, uncles, cuzzins, cuties and diyanah’s frens..i ate a lot..haha..in fact, I was munching all the way..though it was rather short, had a great day..forgot to bring my digicam jus now..but had a few snaps with kak sidah’s N73 then she bluetoothed it over to me...
Saturday, May 26, 2007
The food was great..too bad there’s no power outlet, so no music..but it was kecoh, with my aunts, uncles, cuzzins, cuties and diyanah’s frens..i ate a lot..haha..in fact, I was munching all the way..though it was rather short, had a great day..forgot to bring my digicam jus now..but had a few snaps with kak sidah’s N73 then she bluetoothed it over to me...
Friday, May 25, 2007
Usually I’ll stay in bed till 10 or 11..maybe tat’s coz I woke up early in the morning then sleep again..but I’m having my one week mc now..so dun need to set my alarm and wake up so early..hehe..woke up at 7 jus now..shower then follow nenek to the pasar at crescent..and had my favourite mee soto there…been quite some time..but the makcik still remember me..
“Tak nak taugeh kan..”
Haha..
Home now..Done helping nenek with the housework..and dun know wat else to do…
Tot of watching some movie but kind of addicted with the malay drama at TV1 which starts at 11am..so now I’ll start watching my dvds after 12..
Nenek is getting more and more naggy nowadays..and she always picks on my youngest brother..kesian anwar..but I guess he’s used to it..he usually dun bother but sometimes when I tink he can’t take it anymore, he’ll answer back..haha…sometimes her nagging’s so ridiculous..like tat time when anwar’s getting ready to school, putting his socks and shoes, and it’s raining heavily, then nenek asked him whether he took the umbrella already or not..i mean it’s raining like crazy, of course he’ll bring it right..2 days ago was even more ridiculous..he’s putting his shoes also, then nenek shouted at him from the kitchen whether he took his bag already or not.. haha..he’s going to school..how could he forget to bring his bag!!!
Sometimes I wonder how will it be like if I was staying with my granpa instead..granfathers are usually cool..right? dun talk much..and certainly dun nag..not tat I dun like staying with my granny..dun get me wrong..i love her..so so much..can’t imagine like without her..and I certainly won’t want to imagine tat..jus a thought..my grandpa’s long gone..when I was still a kid..i tink when I’m about 5 or 6..i dun even remember anything about him…from wat my parents, aunts and uncles told me, I was very close to him..my brother was close to him too..i guess coz we stay very near..at tat time, we were staying in the same block, but on different levels..so my parents will sent us down to my grandparent’s place when they go to work, go back up to our home after dinner.. we were their favourite grandchildren..my grandpa’s still working then, and he’ll come back between 5 and 6pm..and the two of us will wait at the gate for him..refuse to do anything until he get back..coz he’ll always buy something for us..chikedees..or something like tat..hehe..and the worst thing now is tat, I dun even remember all of tat…when he passed away..we were very very small..especially ijam..and mum told us tat ijam ran after them when they brought grandpa away..and he dun remember tat too... after hearing all the stories about grandpa, though I dun remember much about him, he’ll always be in my heart..and in my prayers..
I love u granpa..
Here’s a picture of him...i have a picture of us together..but can’t seem to find it..


These pictures below..those were the days when we could jump on the bed and not getting scolded after tat..and look, even then, they bullied me..i'm the only girl..outnumbered..always being wrestled and bullied..then, it was ijam who bullied me..and now, it's anwar...but i love them aniway..even though always being bullied..and i seriously dun know wat was i tinking at tat moment..haha..especially the last pic..why was my hand positioned like tat..haha..




Thursday, May 24, 2007
someone whom i used to respect a lot..
really at a loss as to wat i should do next..
i can't jus sit around doing nothing and watch it as it gets worst...
but if i do something, i'm afraid of the consequences..
which has many possible outcomes...
i'm not proud either to write about it here...
but at least i feel better after letting it out..
even though jus to a blog...
sometimes i would type everything tat's in my heart...
and delete all of it after i'm done...
i jus did..
and it does makes me feel better...
i know i can handle with this on my own..
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Went out with mum and Ijam.. been quite some time since we went out together..especially me and mum only..
Went to Bugis first..wanna get a new wallet..i’ve always wanna own the Pierre Cardin one..but they dun have it there..looked at the Bonia ones but dun seem to like any of the design..The Guess ones quite cheap..it’s on sale..but also, dun really like them..so din get any..walked around a bit before moving on to Sim Lim Square..wanna get a PSP for my youngest brother.. cost me quite a lot..but ijam say he’ll transfer some cash to my account..thankie..actually wanna get the silver colour, but it's the limited edition, and much more expensive..
He obviously likes it a lot anihow..gave me a kiss..actually more than one..haha..he never stop playing from jus now..
Oh, and also I bought myself a dress jus now…spent quite a lot seh..
We had our lunch at Bugis, before going to Geylang with mum..Ijam made his way to Jurong East to meet Naz..Naz wanna buy a new bike, and he asked Ijam to accompany him..Walked around at Geylang with mum..shop shop shop..tat’s our hobby..as long as we know the limit, I guess it’s fine..hehe..
Actually I felt quite bad coz had to cancel my meeting with Diana..suppose to meet up with her today..have lunch together..but mum din work jus now, and it’s quite uncommon, so I had to cancel it with Diana so tat I can go out with my mum..Ijam is having his one week break, tat’s why he tag along..
Alrighty, till next time..
~toodles~
I know I’ve cause enough trouble and heartache already…
And so I thought..why not say something nice tonight..
I know he had a tiring day today..with work and school after tat…and not even a wink of sleep the night before...
When school’s over he messaged me saying he’s done, on his way home and tat his batt is almost flat..so ok, I waited till he get home..messaged him at about 12 midnight asking if he’s home or not…replied soon after saying he’s home and wanna help his dad with something..my reply was ok..try to be fast…cause I need him..badly…
Here’s the initial plan..he’ll definitely think I’ve got something important to talk to him about..so he’ll do his work quickly..shower, solat and call me straight away…and when he call..he will certainly ask me why..and I’ve even prepared an answer for tat..i’ll say tat I missed him so much..tat’ll definitely bring a smile to his face.. coz I dun usually say those mushy2 things...the day will end with smiles all over..
BUT
Too bad, it didn’t go as planned...I had a long day too ok..and I wanted to sleep after Hikmah..never sleep back after Subuh jus now..did some housework, watch dvds, went to tuition, then to the gym in the evening..i am tired too ok..but I stayed awake jus for him..watched some stupid show on the tv jus so tat I’ll stay awake..when there’s no more shows, read my book and never stop glancing at the clock..last I saw it was at 1.40am..after tat I must have dozed off..tat’s how long I waited..and if I were important to him, he’ll definitely call as soon as he’s done with his work..but he dozed off..i know he’s tired..so am i..he called at about 1.50am..and pressed me to tell him wat it is tat was bugging me..why is it tat I need him badly..and his words, saying tat I’m hiding things from him..why must you always think tat way..i told u time and again, I never hide anything from you..have u ever wonder, tat those words tat u always say I did, tat I’m hiding something from u, is also an accusation...
So aniway,
TOO LATE..
Plan failed again…
Sometimes I wonder..why is it tat everytime, when things are starting to pick up again, there’ll always be something tat will put it back down..
But like I said on the phone jus now..i know u’re tired…I won’t be angry later in the morning...i’ll still call when I get up for Subuh later..maybe I am angry now..or rather, sad..coz if I were important enough to you, you would have call once u’re done..u won’t hang around and dozed off in between..u’ll go directly to the phone to dial my number...
Maybe I’ll tink of another plan, if I have the time, idea and mood...i should have slept after Hikmah..tat way, I won’t feel as bad as I’m feeling now..i won’t be hanging around the house doing nothing while everyone else is snoring away...
I’m going back to sleep..if I can..
Monday, May 21, 2007
Checked my letter box and there’s a CPF letter for me, and the rest la..it’s the GST credit thing..and I’m getting it..yeay..haha..no big deal actually..but it’s the first time I get money from the government..mesti la happy..haha..when the progress package giveaway, I’m not 21 yet..so yep, the first time..hmm, how will I use the money for eh? hmm..SHOPPING!! Yeay..and the great sale will be around the corner when they give the money in july..or is it during the sale..hmm, perfect timing there mr government..best way to make people spend the money and go back to them..
Aniway, nothing much in life..i mean, jus the same, wake up, watch dvds, do some housework then get ready for tuition..but now 2 of my tuition kids taking a break, starting again in mid june..which means I’ve more time for myself and my dvds..hehe..and I tink I’ll love tat...
Done watching Prison Break Season 1..waiting for season 2 from diana..watched Music and Lyrics jus now..at first, thought it was a boring show..fell asleep while watching it..but ijam said it was nice..so when I woke up, I watched it again, forward to the scene where I dozed off and continue watching..it was nice, alright..sweet towards the end..gues I must have been tired, thus fell asleep while watching..din have much sleep yesterday night..had a nightmare and woke up a couple of time in the middle of the night..and woke up with a jerk..u know, like those in the movie, where their eyes suddenly shot open..yes like tat..tink my mind’s jus running wild..after wat happened yesterday..
Yesterday..went to school with Dearie to study..yep, study..not me..i accompany him..he’s got exams today and on Wednesday..so we went to my school cause they have lots of benches and quiet enough to study..initially, wanted to sit at Forum, but somehow, all the tables were occupied..on a Sunday..can u believe those guys..Sunday pun nak blajar, and it’s not even exam period..i believe not for the special term too..not yet..maybe they’re not from NUS..aniway, so we went to the admin building..he studied for a while, sleep for longer than a while, continue studying for a little while more, and slept yet again..haha..hope something gets into his head..i was reading my book, then startled by a sound on my left..dun bother and continue studying..tot I saw something moving from the corner of my eyes..turn, but there’s nothing...tat place gives me the creep actually..when it’s getting darker, I keep asking Dearie wat time he wanna make a move…cause it’s getting even more creepier..most of the offices there moved to the University Hall, so the building’s quite abandoned actually..but people still use it to get from one building to the other…at about 8 plus, we packed up..he wanna go to the toilet nearby, but I dun want to..it’s right inside, and nobody walks there, unless they wanna go to the toilet..told him to go to the toilet further down..which is quite open..
We walked along the corridors..as soon as we past AS6, before th canteen. I kind of regret using tat route..should have walked along the road down the hill, though it’s a much more longer route..at least there’s cars and people..there was absolutely nobody as soon as we passed the AS4 walkway..but still continue walking anyway…Dearie was making some comments, which was really not something funny at tat moment, “Jangan Pandang Belakang” hah..ha..and so we continue walking toward the interchange... between the flight of stairs at AS3, I though i heard a ruffled sound behind me..i wanna turn, but was too afraid..curious wat it was, coz it's actually quite loud..but before i even get to turn, suddenly dearie grabbed my hand and pulled me hard..i almost toppled down the stairs..he said something like walk faster..i dunno if he heard it too..i never ask..all i wanto is to get out of there fast..my heart was beating fast already...but I knew something was not right...so I walked real fast..almost ran..oh wait, I tink I did run..haha..after the few flights of stairs, at the publishing shop, I actually ran and pulled dearie..i was really scared...i din see anything actually..not tat I want to..but the hairs on my body are standing..once we reach outside the building, dearie stop and held me close to him..my heart was beating like crazy…he calmed me down before making our way to the interchange…I tot it was over...but at the covered walkway, I smelled some kind of scent..but seriously, over the 2 years in tat school, I always use tat walkway..and never ever smell tat kind of thing before..and once again, Dearie grabbed my hand and pulled me, asking me to walk faster..and again, I almost ran..it was real scary..i din see anything..but the scent was so strong..and my hairs were standing upright..
Went for late dinner at the cheese prata shop nearby..then dearie was nagging..yes, nagging..something like, “I told you ur school is scary..lagi nak stay in school sampai malam2 and study..blah..blah..” haha..i know u’re concern bout my safety..but they dun kill, do they? And also, if I stay in school, it’ll be during the exams period..and there’ll be lots of people around..even the newpapers say so..it difficult to get a seat if u’re late during those exam periods..
Aniway, though I was there jus accompaning you, I do have a great time ok..i’m sorry about wat I said last few days..promise I won’t say it again..
Aniway, on Saturday, mum bought doughnuts from johor..as soon as she takes it out of the bag, half of it were gone..haha..it’s was so mouth-watering tat we couldn't resist it..can’t even wait for another minute…jus look at it..haha...will ask mum to get it again next time..

Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Since I’ve got the time now, will try to go more regularly..used to run 2.4km between 13 and 16 minutes on treadmills.. but I completed it in about 23 minutes jus now..and usually will continue with another half hour of cycle on the upright stationary bicycle thingy..but was very tired after 15 minutes, and retreat to the massaging chair..haha..
Been quite a long time since I did some exercise..with school and tuition..will be tired once I get home…
so now, since school’s off for 3 months…will built up my fitness back..
Earlier on, went for tuition..left my organiser in my tutee’s house..nothing much in it, not a diary aniway..so nothing to worry about..unless if she’s interested in my schedules…
Met with Diana for lunch before tuition..as usual, talk, laugh, talk, laugh, laugh, talk, laugh, talk, shop for a while then off for my tuition..will be meeting again next Tuesday…if I’m not lazy to go out tat is..
And Diana will copy Prison Break Season 2 for me..hopefully she’ll give it to me soon..
Finish watching my One Tree Hill Season 1..but when my brother opens it to watch, I’ll watch it again together with him..jus can’t get enough of it..I love it to bits..at the moment, watching the movies and Prison Break Season 1..
And finally the layout of my create post page is back to normal...
Guess tat’s about it for now...
~toodles~
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Things tat I dun wish to reminisce back in years to come..
I’m staring at this screen for minutes already and still dunno wat to write..
Butwateveritis,IjuswannasaythatIstillloveuDearie.i’msorryforwateverthathashappen.IknowitseemslikeIduncareaboutyouoraboutanythingforthatmatter,butactuallyIreallydo.I’msosorry.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Had a bad day yesterday..
Had a tiff with my brothers..
Yeah, both of them…
Ok, I admit tat the first one was my fault..wanted to use my brother’s file..the elder of the 2..so I went to his drawers to look for it…opened the second drawer and saw a book..like a notebook..the cover page was flipped open..caught my eyes..it was some notes on his school stuffs…so I read through them…continue flipping, then I saw a song…one of my favourites, so I sang the lyrics…then flipped again, and I saw it…wat he wrote..wanted to stop but the devil inside my head says jus continue reading..he’s not home..he’s never gonna find out…
But when he came back, conscience was bugging me…so I told him..then he shouted…he’s got every right to be angry at me…but even without reading it, I know already how he feel about tat issue he wrote…he went into the toilet and I went off for tuition..said I’m sorry when he’s kind of cool down, and he accepted it…
Went home from tuition…watch tv and stuff…at about 8 plus, then only realise tat I haven’t had my dinner…so went to the kitchen to have my meal…my youngest brother was chatting away on the phone at the kitchen.. And his exam’s tis week..so I tell him to stop chatting and go do some revision..he wouldn’t listen…so I told mum…when he went in, mum called him into the room…can’t hear wat’s happening from the kitchen..but I guess mum was scolding him…he came back out into the kitchen, grabbed the packet of soya bean milk from beside my plate and pour some of it into my plate which is still three quarter full of rice…I really felt like crying at tat moment..i tink I did…but managed to stop it before it get worst…
I was jus trying to help…I dunno..sometimes I feel like I’m not a good sister..a part of me said to myself tat from now on, I'm jus gonna stay quiet and dun bother bout anything if it doesn’t concern me…
I got over it…when Dearie called me tat nite…I try to seal my sadness…chat with him as usual…talked about lots of stuffs..he said his mum invited me to their family gathering tis Sunday..some kids’ birthday..but I’m not sure if I wanna go…we settled tat issue already…then I feel like talking or rather telling him wat happen earlier at home…I was cool at the start..but as I continue talking…tears never stop falling down my cheeks….i tink he can sense tat I was crying..I tried so hard to control and deny it…but I tink my voice was cracking when I respond me…
People always say it’s easier to run away from problems…pretend jus it didn’t happen…I guess i’m jus not strong enough to handle such things…my brothers are so dear to me…it breaks my heart to see us like tat..i love them both equally…
To me, girls who cry to sleep are lonely and leads a miserable life..
I’m happy with my life..i’ve a lovely family, a boyfriend who loves me and my frens…
And it’s hard for me to believe tat last nite,
I was one of those girls..
Monday, May 7, 2007
Aniway, been busy with life...
not tat i'm abandoning my bloggie here....
actually wanted to post something on friday night...
but a clumsy brother of mine...
pulled out his hp charger and at the same time pulled my adapter out...
and i dun have the batt in my lappie...
so the power went off..was really mad..
typed a lot, in fact finished it already...
was about to click publish, tat's when the power went off...
can't he wait for a few more second and pulled out his charger...
humph..
Aniway, mentioned tat i've been busy this past few days...
done with exams on thursday...
and been busy having fun...
hehe..
*Thursday*
Right after my last paper on Thursday...which is at 7pm...called Ijam and asked him where he was...then we decided to meet at Vivo and do something there....so made my way to Vivo..went straight to GV to look at the list of movies..then we decided on Spiderman 3...

The movie's great...dun want it to end...it's better than the first and second i tink...it has everything...from action, to romance, friendship, revenge, a bit of humour...and certainly lots more..
went to Banquet for dinner while waiting for the movie to start...met some old frens there...first was jurana and her guy, i tink..there's was also another couple with them...aftet i sat down some tables away, then only realised the guy's actually Ridzal..still as nerdy looking as ever...then came Imran..the girl i saw earlier is actually Imran's girlfriend...then an hour or so later, zamas came...he still look the same..but stories tat i heard about him..he's certainly not the same guy tat i know back in school...
Few tables away from them was Faizal and his buddy...Faizal, the malay guy from my department who is very very hardworking..tat's wat people in school call him...
Change some hie-s and smiles with everyone...sat for too long at the Banquet already, so went for a walk around Vivo..with Ijam and Anwar...not many people, which is quite a rare scene in Vivo, so took the opportunity to take some pics..i mean, me being me..malu nak snap snap with lots of people around...aniway, here's one of the pics...

Thereafter, made our way to GV..surprisingly, Faizal and his buddy also watched Spiderman 3..and sat beside Anwar..the movie's quite long..no more bus home after tat..very very late already..and Anwar gotta go school in the morning..but he was the one who wanna tag along..so can't blame us..took a cab home..washed up, pray, chat with Dearie for a while as he gotta wake up early for work then bedtime...
*Friday*
Actually did nothing much on Friday..woke up quite late...get ready for tuition...went to crescent first, as my tutee at Jurong have extra lessons in school...was tutoring when Dearie messaged saying he'll come pick me up..then go to Jurong together..as always..i'll say dun need to..dun wanna trouble him..but he came aniway..huggies for u..hehehe...we took a cab to Jurong...
went home, washed up and all, then went online..tat's when i was updating my bloggie when the above mentioned thing happened...
dun bother to type all over again, went next room to watch tv...Supernatural, one of my favourite series..missed quite a lot of episodes due to my assignments and muggings...
Ouh i'm so loving it...and Chad..i love his eyes the more..intense...
and yeah, watched 2 episodes i tink, then went to bed after a long chat with Dearie...
*Saturday*
Mum asked me to accompany her to Geylang, but actually had plans to meet Dearie after he finish with work..then Along called, asking mum if she wanna go out..So i'm saved..mum went with Along instead...
Met Diana for a while in the afternoon...get the Prison Break dvds..before her trip to KL..which is where she's at now...Take care always dear...
Then met Dearie..i tot he's gonna be late..so my plan was to go to town first..get a pair of tix for Spiderman 3..as a surprise for him..he din say he wanna watched the show..ok he did..but mostly it's critism or sarcastic remarks for the movie..how was i suppose to know tat he wanted to watch it too..tat's why i went with my bros instead, coz i know they wanna watch it so much..and once in a while, treat them to something..aniway, before i even reach town, he called saying he's done...and i'm at Outram...so plan din work out...dun bother to type the rest here, so made my way to Tanjong Pagar, met and him with a sulky face..but, the evening's not wasted...
went somewhere else, spent time together..chill out and had fun...
*Sunday*
Start my day with tuition at Pandan at 2pm...he's having his english exam on monday, so his parents requested for tat session...after which, met Dearie at Jurong East at about 4.30pm...having dinner with his family later..so went to Popular to get something for his parents and also his youngest sister...A pair of Parker pen and a pooh bear..
His dad said meet them at Masjid Tentera, then we're going to Sakura...I know where the mosque is..up the hill across my school..but never heard of a Sakura Restaurant there..but jus made our way there since tat's wat his dad said..and sure enough, behind the Japanese Elementary School is the restaurant...my school's so near and din know it exist...
Had lots of food..at first, was very very silent..shy wat..after maghrib, when Dearie and his dad came back from performing their prayers, tat's when things starts to warm up..his dad got quite chatty..his dad was the one who talked to me the most..i constantly try to remind myself to smile all the time..hehe...and maintain my body posture...trying to sit up straight all the time, really tiring...hehe...Dearie sent me home in a cab...which was flagged down by his family...i'm not hoping for them to love me at this point of time..but jus dun dun like me...hehe...
*Monday*
And finally, today..or is it yesterday already...did nothing much...woke up to the music of One Tree Hill opening song...Ijam was watching..told him it's a great show..din believe me..but he's now addicted to it..in fact, he's already ahead of me..I've watched only till episode 4..he's already at episode 8..he skipped school jus now..and watched it the whole morning and afternoon....
receive a call when i was tutoring at crescent jus now..it was from a company i used to work at...regarding a part time position...told them my vacation starts in may, and tat if they have any temp work, gimme a ring..and they keep their words...Ilona called me jus now..going to their office tomorrow at 11..she said something, not interview..din hear it well..but anihoo, going down tmr to know more bout it..will take it if it's rather flexible...not gonna give up my tutee...
waiting for Dearie to reach home now...maybe, will watch episode 5 of OTH...
or jus laze around in bed..
till next time...
~toodles~
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Home Alone
So guys, better plan for another gathering alright..




























